open the door.

you keep me on my toes. 

"open the door." 

"you're such a liar."

"open the door."

(i can hear the same set of keys jingling on my line of the phone, and on the other side of door to my apartment)

"NO WAY! YOURE LYING!!!"

*the handle turns*

"SURPRIIIISSSEEEE!!!"

each day, i'm falling more and more in love with you.

let's try.

i believe in us to make this distance and your chaotic schedule, to work.

where my heart is

home. 

i finally found it.

with him, and his.

and i've learned to accept what's been thrown at me when it comes to the struggle that us 3 have to get by, especially through hard times. 

i came home last night, sighed, and mumbled to myself saying, "home" before hopping into my bed

text me.

"mom, text me."

"..okay"

"wait, you know how to text?"

"yeah! you taught me!"

that was our conversation a couple days ago on our way to dinner.

i'm in Fullerton tonight and she really didn't want me to come because it's still winter break and she wanted me to stay in Pasadena with her.

I just thought about her randomly and decided to text her. Wondering if she would text me back or just call me, because she would give up on the whole texting spiel. She texted me back.

 

me: i will be home this weekend. im changing my oil tomorrow. on thursday im going to be in san diego for a couple of days. im at the apartment watching tv. love you.

mom: (3 minutes later, surprisingly) Any money u have? Take care. Love u 2. ;)

...this makes me really miss my mom and wanna just drive home and spend time with her. even though i've only been away from home 2 days.

2009.

i've had this blog for a year now.

i want to start new, especially with him.

one thing i do want, and am working towards: the close relationship with my mom that i had lost because of bad influences and my rebellious stage i went through these last 2 years. it's getting better. and i wouldn't want to screw it up over my selfishness and stubbornness. and i wont.